


i will be chasing a starlight

by snowylynxx



Series: snowy's hpa au [1]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Crushes, F/M, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, catch me robbing everyone of their u's bitch!, i fuckin love amamatsu ok if i have to write every damn fic in the tag i will, the oumasai is implied btw just... very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 20:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16688473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowylynxx/pseuds/snowylynxx
Summary: Rantarou knows a girl, and he knows he loves her. He knows–from the way she acts around him and talks to the other girls–that she loves him, too. Now would be the perfect time to confess, as his hands shake and his throat dries, but there's one thing that holds him back.





	i will be chasing a starlight

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo?! i haven't written anything since last year pwease forgive my terrible writing im more of an artist lmao!
> 
> a lot of people depict amami as a Cool Suave Hot Boy who has the biggest weed energy, but i wanted to take a look at his paranoia and trust issues. his events with saihara in salmon mode detail a lot of his inner workings, so i tried to go off of that! i hope you enjoy it, i don't normally write so this is the first in a while!!!

Kaede was all he ever wanted in a partner. Someone strong-willed, caring, and motivated. Her smile was bright and warm; it was hard not to be touched by her light when she smiled. Eyes of a dark magenta hue, and long blonde hair that curled cutely at the ends. Needless to say, Rantarou never believed that love had existed until the day he got to know her.

But the years have molded his perception of reality. Even when she smiles–and he smiles back–the warning signs flash brightly in his peripheral vision. She will be hurt, she will hurt you, like a mantra in his head. A life living on the edge will do that to you. Danger is all Rantarou had ever known. He feels it everywhere, and it doesn't necessarily have to be a threatening place. Or person.

His father told him, in his drunken stupor, that all women ever do is lie. Rantarou cursed himself for being foolish enough to take that old man’s advice. What did he know about love? He’d never given a drop in his whole life; not to his wives or mistresses, his daughters, his only son.

Rantarou felt like fighting an uphill battle with his fists alone was easier than battling his feelings. Which is why he asked for help.

“Wait, you have a crush one of our classmates?” Tsumugi gasped. “Who?!”

“Not important, Shirogane.”

Tsumugi pouted. “But I might be able to help you better if you tell me who! Boy or girl?”

“She’s a girl, Shirogane, but that's not important.” The SHSL Cosplayer flipped her long blue hair indignantly, obviously upset that she hasn't garnered much gossip material yet. “Please, Mugi, this is serious.”

Her stance softened, and she laid her hands in her lap. “Well, what do you want plain old me to tell you?”–she pushed up her glasses–“I’ve never been in a relationship before. Why don't you ask someone else?”

“Because you're the only one I trust with this,” Rantarou said, “and the only person I can trust to take me seriously. At least, I thought.”

“Oh, give it a break, I’ll help you with your girl problem.” Tsumugi laid back on the plush loveseat in her lab, where they currently were. “So, what's up?”

Rantarou scratched the back of his neck. “Well, it’s not so much a problem of making sure she likes me. I already know she does, it’s pretty obvious.” He pressed a hand to his cheek. “It’s just the concept of having to open up to her that scares me.”

“You're scared of commitment, you mean.”

“I guess so, haha.”

Tsumugi looked up and around, something that Rantarou learned long ago to mean she was thinking. As silence filled the studio, Rantarou became increasingly aware of how fast his chest was pounding.

“And I guess… Maybe it’s just something with my mind,” he said, forcing the words out. “Maybe I’m not cut out for it, and like… trying to change at this point won't work out.”

“Don't say that, Amami-kun.” Rantarou’s eyes met a warm blue gaze. “I’ve known you since middle school, and I know you so much better than that. You're the Super High School Level Adventurer, for fuck’s sake!” Her dexterous hands found his knee, giving a comfortable squeeze. “You deserve to love, and to be loved. Life shaped you, but you can shape yourself, too.”

Rantarou felt the pinpricks of oncoming tears, but forced them down. That is, until Tsumugi hugged him and he felt all of his walls fall down. Even if just for a moment, he let himself be loved without fear.

 

They finished up talking after Rantarou’s eyes had dried and his heart stopped aching. It all boiled down to stop being an idiot and just tell her. Seemed easy enough, but now that Kaede was here next to him, it suddenly became much harder.

Kaede, being the over-enthusiastic class rep she was, organized a little class-wide get-together over the summer. About half the class actually showed up, as most were either traveling or too preoccupied with other things to attend (Much to Kokichi’s chagrin, Shuuichi fell into the latter category). But the people who did come had a fun time at this impromptu picnic.

Rantarou, picking up a dumpling from his box, was startled when a stray pair of chopsticks stole it out of his. Kokichi shuffled away with his dumpling, saying something along the lines of “Smarter than the average bear, motherfucker!” Needless to say, Kokichi’s superiority complex that came with his recent birthday still hadn’t worn off yet.

“Ouma-kun!” Kaede called. “Give Amami-kun his food back!”

“What? It’s not like Amami-chan is gonna eat it,” Kokichi reasoned, already taking a bite out of the dumpling. “Beshides, I lwove shumai! You can't shtop me.”

Rantarou gave the smaller boy a look, and while Kokichi initially stared back in confusion, he seemed to eventually understand what he let slip and shut up. Shaking his head, he told Kaede, “It’s fine, I’m not too fond of dumplings, anyway.”

“Really?” Kaede looked panicked. “I’m sorry, if you had told me I woul–”

“Akamatsu, it’s fine, really!” Rantarou raised his hands to calm her. “I’m fine with eating them, and they're really good. I appreciate you making food that all of us can enjoy.”

“Tch. These dumplings taste like a monkey’s ass.”

“Well, almost everyone, I guess.”

Kokichi scoffed, taking another dumpling from Rantarou. “If you're not gonna eat them, give them to me. Can't see why you wouldn't like them though, what with how much of a pig you are.”

“Like hell, you fuckin’ trash bag piece of shit gremlin!” Shoving more food in his mouth, Kokichi lunged at Miu, poking at her food while Kiibo tried to break them up.

Rantarou picked up his last dumpling, savoring the taste and smiling. “I think everyone’s having a good time.”

“You do?” Kaede’s eyes were wide now. “To me, this feels like a train wreck.”

“Train wrecks can be a wild ride.”

Kaede was about to question him, but instead leaned back, laughing. “That joke was terrible,” she said between giggles. A blush colored her cheeks a rosy hue, and Rantarou remembered why he opted to be at this gathering in the first place.

“Hey, Akamatsu,” he said, his heart pounding already. “Can you come with me for a minute?”

As he stood up, she tilted her head. “Why?”

“Just wait.”

Kaede still looked perplexed, but nonetheless stood up and followed him. They carefully stepped over a sleeping Himiko (Rantarou earning a menacing glare from Tenko in return), and moved to sit under a maple tree. It was far enough away that anyone still by the picnic blanket would have trouble hearing, but close enough that they were still in sight. It was a little unnerving, but Rantarou could always deflect any assumptions later if this didn't go well.

The SHSL Pianist sat down next to him, leaning against the trunk of the tree and laying her skirt under her legs. “So… What’s up?”

Rantarou felt the words lodge in his throat, but he pushed through. “I… have a sort of confession to make.”

He could see Kaede struggle to tame her blush. “W-What’s that? I mean–you can tell me.” He took a deep breath to steady himself.

“I… I like you.”

Silence.

“Huh?!” Kaede whisper-screeched. “Me? Y-You like… huh?”

Rantarou chuckled, the tension easing a bit in his chest. “Yeah, I have for a while. But… there was always something holding me back from telling you.”

“If you were scared that I might not like you back, then–”

“I know that you like me too.”

Kaede’s eyes turned surprised. “Y-You do?”

“You're not as subtle as you think you are, Akamatsu.”

Playing with the hem of her skirt, she looked down and blushed harder. “W-Well, what do we do now?” she asked. “We both like each other…”

Pressure again. “That’s the thing…” Every bone in his body was screaming at him to abort the conversation and stop this from happening before it’s too late, but he continued. “I’ve never… I don't… um…”

Her soft hand, softer than Tsumugi’s, laid itself on his. “Take your time.” Her smile, that warmth. Like sunshine after a storm.

Rantarou took another deep breath. “I'm… scared. Scared that I might hurt you, that you might hurt me, that we might hurt someone else. I just… Damn, trust issues suck.”

He hadn't noticed he was crying until Kaede wiped a stray tear away. His eyes met hers, a solemn understanding. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to work on that, huh?”

Kaede’s smile was infectious, and Rantarou found himself smiling too. “Yeah…”

“Maybe I rushed in a little too fast,” she said, rubbing a thumb across his hand, “and I don't think either of us are ready right now. But, in the future, do you um… wanna go on a date?”

“Yeah, I'd like that.”

 

It still took a while for Rantarou to warm up to everybody, but with Kaede’s help, he felt less vulnerable (as he thought he would) and more safe. These are my friends, he told himself, they wouldn't betray me.

In turn, he learned a lot about his classmates. He especially connected with Kokichi and Miu, surprisingly. They all were misfits, in their own ways; it was natural that they find comfort in each other. The two were also gay disasters and looked to Rantarou for relationship advice (ironic, truly).

He’d grown, he was proud. He wasn’t healed; he would never truly come back from what had afflicted him. But he’s improved. That's why he was here, standing by the gates of Kibougamine as the leaves fell around him, waiting.

“Amami-kun!”

He looked up to see Kaede, dressed in a simple white blouse and jeans. The casual outfit fit her beautifully.

“Are you ready?” she asked, somewhat impatiently. He was excited, too. They’d both been working hard to keep their promise.

Rantarou simply nodded. “You look beautiful, by the way,” he said, laughing when she lit up red. He took her hand in his–well, the one that wasn't covering her face. And as they both walked into town, they felt the giddy words of “first date” running through their heads.


End file.
